2024 Insults and roasts

Good Roasts, Comebacks and Insults. HUMOR. 55 Of The Very Best Good Roasts. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. Sometimes our …. Miniluxe cancellation policy

A guy with three hairs goes to the barbers. He says, "I want a trim then one to the left, one to the right and one down the middle.". The barber gets busy with comb and scissors but one of the hairs falls out. "OK," says the guy, "finish the trim and I'll have one to the left and one to the right.".New York's legendary Friars Club held its first roast of Maurice Chevalier in 1949, where, as the guest of honor, he was subjected to hilarious and risqué jokes at his expense. Subsequent TV roasts on Kraft Music Hall (1968), The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (1974), and Comedy Central Roast (1998) have kept this comedic tradition alive.Oct 29, 2019 · 25 Brilliant 'Rare Insults' You've Definitely Never Heard Before. Insults fly back and forth on all day on the Internet, but every once in a while you find a rare roast that makes you lose your breath. These are some of the best rare insults we could find that perfectly describe the thing that they're roasting. 1. That's Why We Love Her. You look like something I drew with my left hand. Your face looks like I drew it with my left hand. You are so ugly that when you entered your dog in an ugly dog contest, they gave you a ribbon and a scratch behind the ear. . You're So Stupid And You're So Dumb Insult Jokes. Dumb People Jokes.Nigerian Insults. List Of Common Nigerian Insults, How many can you relate with? lol. ‘e no good for ya mama grandmama! “Aradite”. “Fish brain”. “Mmiri nshi”. “Ur head is missing a few nuts!”. “Ur mama didnt raise u right!”. “You are the reason I support abortion”.A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?". The German replies, "Nein, just one.". Explanation: "Drei"—pronounced "dry"—is German for "three ...Mar 10, 2022 · 14. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. It’s better to reply than just roll your eyes. 15. You look like you eat buttons off the remote control. This doesn’t even make sense, but it’s pretty insulting. 👉 If you’re looking for more insults, we have some more that are so funny. Insults and memes—a match made in the snarky heavens. Welcome, fellow aficionados of wit and sarcasm, to a collection of 37 funny insults and savage memes that cut right to the core. Because let's face it, in a world filled with platitudes and pleasantries, there's something oddly satisfying about a well-crafted insult or a brutally honest ...Aug 21, 2021 ... Deflecting works by acknowledging the insult given but taking away any opportunity of satisfaction to the person who insulted me. For example, ...Harry Potter: Severus Snape's Best Insults. By Bisma Fida. Published Jun 1, 2023. Besides being a knowledgeable and powerful wizard, Snape is also a quick-witted Harry Potter character with some ...You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. The last time I saw something like you…. I flushed. Grab a straw, because you suck. Don't worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows. You're a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Hey, you have something on your chin. No, the third one down.26. One of Reddit's funnier and more entertaining subreddits is the /r/roastme subreddit. People take a photo of themselves holding a sign that typically says "Roast me" or "/r/RoastMe" inviting other Reddit users and members of the subreddit to fire their best shot at them. A lot of the time it is just funny and light-hearted jokes and insults ...If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that! One liner tags: attitude, fat, insults. 85.43 % / 1808 votes. share. You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left. One liner tags: insults, intelligence, rude, stupid.Great Hilarious Insults. We have more mean insults that will burn your frenemies! Read at your own risk because some of these hilarious insults can hurt and make you laugh at the same time! 1. I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you. Being called a nerd is not really an insult. Watch out people you call nerds might just become your boss ...And if nothing else, at least you’ll be able to tell when someone’s calling you a birdbrain in public. Here are a few of the sauciest Russian insults you should learn. Засранец (zasranets) — Imagine if you took the English word for “diarrhea” and turned it into a verb, and then a person who performs that verb. A “shitass ...View in gallery. Guilty pleasure dark jokes. 10. During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic "personal protection liberty 2nd amendment" hooplah.15. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you. This is just really what you are. 16. The last time I saw something like you&mldr; I flushed it down the toilet. You look like shit. Plain and simple. 17. I sure hope there’s a lifeguard in your gene pool. Jerks shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. 18.Best "toxic" insults you´ve seen? We all know some flamers (or when someone flames) get specially creative sometimes, and utter phrases that trascend the insulting and reach the point where they make you laugh, even if it was directed at you. Phrases like "you have the map awareness of Christopher Columbus" or "The only way you could be more ...Here are 30 funny roasts that rhyme: 1. You think you’re cool, but you’re just a fool. 2. Your fashion sense is a major offense. 3. Your jokes are weak, you need a technique. 4. Your dance moves are a sight to behold, a reminder of what not to be told.Here Are 20 Insults For A Genshin Player. 1. The only way you will graduate this semester is if the syllabus changes to "Introduction to Genshin". 2. I was asked why I think you acted like a social miscreant, I said maybe you mistake reality for fantasy sometimes. 3.Biden roasts Trump (in a serious way) at annual press dinner ... Some jokes got laughs, others landed awkwardly. There were a few jabs at Biden, a "decent" man who Jost said reminds him of his ...And who knows, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two and be able to step up your own insult game. The Top Ten. 1 You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. I'm going to so use this one! This one is the BEST I've heard so far. This is the funniest diss I've heard all day!You are weird like shit, boy, now I’m really gonna get back in ya head. You live in a fuckin ostentatious orange, and your grandfather looks like a fuckin, uh, butt flake with Alzheimer’s that can’t remember his butt flake children. You are weird like shit, boy, run that shit back. HH”, DUMBASS BOY run that shit back.The post 30 Best Comebacks and Good Roasts for Any Situation appeared first on Reader's Digest. ... We had a no-swearing rule, and then an insult rule, which means they were G-rated insults. My ...The post 30 Best Comebacks and Good Roasts for Any Situation appeared first on Reader's Digest. ... We had a no-swearing rule, and then an insult rule, which means they were G-rated insults. My ...List of the Best 20 Roast Punchlines on Pakistanis. 1. A nose that size needs its passport and visa. 2. Omg, I can smell your cab from here. 3. Your parents probably already bomb your self-esteem for doing art. 4. The only thing running away from you faster than potential dates is your hairline. New York’s legendary Friars Club held its first roast of Maurice Chevalier in 1949, where, as the guest of honor, he was subjected to hilarious and risqué jokes at his expense. Subsequent TV roasts on Kraft Music Hall (1968), The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (1974), and Comedy Central Roast (1998) have kept this comedic tradition alive. Enjoy these funny roasts for skinny people. 1. You're so skinny, I bet you can dodge rain drops. 2. I've seen more meat on a chicken than you. 3. You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind. 4.0You're so skinny, your Mom actually enjoyed giving birth to you. 5.9. Raise a glass of water and propose a toast with "ouzo," pretending it's the real deal, and see their reaction. 10. Craft a paper crown resembling the Acropolis and present it to them. 11. Pretend to be a Greek Sphinx and challenge them with humorous riddles. 12.Here Are 20 Funny Roasts for Someone Rude. Show Me Your Off Button. You Think I'm Shy! I Just Can't Deal with You. I Have Heels Higher than You Are Worth. The Luckiest People Are Those Who Don't Know You. Your Personality Stinks Like Your Breath. If I Looked Half as You Do, I Would Sue My Parents.Feb 18, 2022 ... Any new and inventive way to insult someone is hungrily snatched up and deployed with enthusiasm. ... Do you have any favourite olden time insults ...Focus on harmless quirks or silly habits that your sister has to really hit home and deliver a savage roast. [6] “You’re the type of person to respond to spam emails.”. “You’re the type of person to measure your sleep with a ruler.”. “You’re the type of person to wash their hands after a shower.”.r/VALORANT. VALORANT™ is a free to play 5v5, character-based tactical shooter by Riot Games. MembersOnline. •. [deleted] ADMIN MOD. Best 'insult' I've ever heard of. Discussion. So the Jett heard me speak and instantly 'insulted' me with "I bet you have a mortgage" - I mean.. yes I do but what in the actual fuck. 😂.We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow us.A compilation of Conor McGregor's best insults and roasts. Click here to subscribe for more UFC funny moments, news and updates: https://goo.gl/NEciXhUse this statement to deftly Insult your Ginger-haired friend. Use this Insult to make fun of their hair color choice and make fun of them for making poor decisions, which is what they are known for. This Insult has the potential to silence your companion with a mixed feeling because this Insult is going to slap hard.25. "I just beat your a-- so hard that you will need to change your pronouns to was/were." - u/legend_of_wiker. "My guy, can you put down the tv remote and play with your controller we are trying to win here." - u/ddog0606. Gamers can be a pretty ruthless group, and it's only made worse by the fact that half of the players in any lobby are ...The Best Brutal Insults. All you need is a high five. in the face Using a chair. It seems like your face caught fire and somebody attempted to stop it with a hammer. You're like the first slice of bread; everyone touches you yet nobody wants you. I don't hate you, however I'd give you a handshake if you were sinking.Anthony Jeselnik on Charlie Sheen. Anthony Jeselnik's comedy is extremely dark even in his normal set, so it's not a surprise he'd deliver the best line in the roast of a very dark individual ...Casse meaning “break”, and couilles meaning “balls”, you can guess that this is not the nicest thing to call someone. 17. Ta Gueule – Shut up. “ Ta Gueule ” translates to “your face”, and is a very impolite way of saying what is wrong with your face. A very popular insult in the daily French lexicon. 18.10 Words & Phrases from Mexico That Aren't Taught in School. 1. Chinga tu madre. "Go bother your mother.". It's sort of fuck your mother. The word chingar by itself means "to fuck.". 2. Valió madre or Valió verga. Literally "It was worth mother" or "It was worth cock.".2: Your cousin displays the worst Culinary Creativity. 3: Your cousin is the Social Media Guru. 4: Your cousin creates DIY Disasters. 5: Your cousin is The Tech Troublemaker. 6: You are dealing with your cousin's Fashion Follies. 7: Your cousin is the Time-Traveler Wannabe. 8: Your cousin is a Fitness Fanatic's Quandary.Bid farewell to the traditional roasted chicken by giving it a dip in an Asian-inspired marinade. What to buy: Tamari is wheat-free soy sauce. It can be found in gourmet groceries ...Roasts refer to humorous jokes or insults made at the expense of a particular individual or group. It is a form of comedic expression that involves teasing or criticizing someone in a lighthearted or playful manner. Savage roasts can make your opponent question their existence and leave them scratching their heads, pondering what you said.Your forehead is so big it makes Kanye's ego look small. Your forehead is so big and shiney it looks like a solar field. Youre forehead so big NASA thought it was Mars. Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile. Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like ...Suggests jokingly that one twin might have been a surprise or a challenge. #4 - "So, who's the 'evil twin'?". A classic roast that plays on the common trope of one twin being the mischievous one. #5 - "You two are like a buy-one-get-one-free deal, right?". Teases the twins about being a package deal, like a promotional offer ...Read twinkle twinkle from the story Ultimate insults and roasts 😎😀💣 by bootyfulpotato with 1,376 reads. humor, burn, lit. Twinkle twinkle Little star Hope...Mar 22, 2022 · Good Comebacks. 1. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. 2. When somebody ... 63 Brutal Roasts for a Long-Lasting Burn. Having the perfect, witty, sarcastic roasts in your arsenal can prove beneficial at any family dinner, reunion, or chill night out with friends. Good roasts can enliven and bring joy to awkward dinners and parties if timed right. Roasting can be fun if you have a group of friends who enjoy such raillery.These insults are usually family friendly so you might've missed them but don't worry, we've collected the best of them in one place, creating sort of a Disney vocabulary you can use in nearly any situation. Final score: POST. 76. Glamour. Final score: POST. 52. Final score:This roast suggests that the person is boring to listen to, like an old, torn book that makes people yawn. #2 – “In the game of wit, you’re a little slow, like a clock that’s always an hour below.”. Implies that the person isn’t very quick-witted, similar to a slow clock. #3 – “You try to be cool, but it’s quite a miss, like a ...Anthony Jeselnik on Charlie Sheen. Anthony Jeselnik's comedy is extremely dark even in his normal set, so it's not a surprise he'd deliver the best line in the roast of a very dark individual ...According to u/Blank-Cheque, science, not philosophy helps explain why people curse and swear. “Cursing has been observed by scientists to alleviate pain, and insult-like gestures have been observed by researchers even in chimpanzees,” they told Bored Panda. #22.Savage comeback. Clean comeback. But savage. You'll never be the man your mom is. Now I understand why animals eat their young. You are the reason nobody likes you. Earth is full, go home. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. I'd love to insult you, but you probably wouldn't understand.When you can’t tolerate their egoist behavior and have to speak up, here are the funny comebacks you can say to a narcissist. 1. “What is the greatest compliment that you gave to yourself?”. 2. “If I will be like you, I must be so ashamed of myself.”. 3. “Bro, you bring self-love to the next level.Roasts are supposed to be funny, insults are meant to hurt. A roast is a kind of insult. It's limited to surface level jabs, and it's done with the permission of the insulted person. roast is supposed to be funny.Roasting people is a fun way of making jokes, without being too confrontational. However, if you want to roast someone who talks too much, this article provides a guideline you can jump right into. With about 20 different funny roasts, I bet you're more than equipped to go out there and be a rib-cracker.6. "She pretty from afar, but up close…". It's a backhanded compliment, or insult really! Like calling somehow a moon, not because he/she is luminous but because of the spots. *Ouch*. Clueless. 7. "My eyes are starving for beauty!". Sure, this was funny on The September Issue but what if he said it to my face!101 Funny Insults To Roast Your Friends, Frenemies, Lovers and Everyone in Between. Be the clapback queen with these disses. Jessica Sager. Jun 15, 2023. Funny insults are the best insults....Savage comeback. Clean comeback. But savage. You'll never be the man your mom is. Now I understand why animals eat their young. You are the reason nobody likes you. Earth is full, go home. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. I'd love to insult you, but you probably wouldn't understand.Here are 20 Irish insults and their savage meanings. 20. The head on ya - a common insult. Credit: Flickr/ B Rosen. This can be used in many ways but generally means you look a mess, perhaps after a night of partying hard or as a general insult - either way, it's not positive. 19. The state of ya - looking awful.Clever Funny Insults. I know I make stupid choices, but you’re the worst of all my choices. Keep talking…I’m diagnosing you. I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. Oh wait, it’s not coming off. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.Your brow is so big it goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince. Your forehead was so big when you were born; doctors thought you had no face. Your brow is so prominent you will never have enough hair for bangs. Your forehead is so large you could barbecue on it.14. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. It's better to reply than just roll your eyes. 15. You look like you eat buttons off the remote control. This doesn't even make sense, but it's pretty insulting. 👉 If you're looking for more insults, we have some more that are so funny.British Insults. Nitwit: silly, or foolish, person—she’s such a nitwit . He’s a knob: he’s a dick/idiot Dick: an idiot Off their rocker: mad—they were off their rocker, they were Mad as a hatter: mad—stemming from back in the day when hatters used a manufacturing process for felt that, indeed, made them mad (mercury poisoning) Gormless: clueless; slow wittedLuke 6:22-23. Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man. Be glad in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven. For in the same way their fathers used to treat the prophets. Acts 5:41.Get Some Brains! Another iconic way to insult someone tall is with this savage remark, “There’s more to life than tall legs. Get some brains!”. This line is another offensive remark that’s appropriate to call out a tall person, especially someone who’s very proud of their height and shows off.70 Roasting Jokes To Burn Bitches When The Middle Finger Won't Cut It. By Juliet Lanka Updated April 3, 2024. Thought.is. 1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. 2. Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. 3. My name must taste good because it's always in your mouth.Also: 55 Good Roasts . Savage Comebacks. You should come with a warning label. They say our brains don’t stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. Good job. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Large and in charge isn’t your excuse to be a fat asshole.May 12, 2012 ... In general, geeks prefer to use brains rather than brawn, to get themselves out of a situation. So, their insults are often witty, ...A silent jerk is one of the most peaceful feelings ever. 6. You don't have to repeat yourself. I heard you, but I just wanted to ignore you. I hope that's clear enough to make them quiet. 7. I love the sound you make when you shut up. It's like peace on earth. 8.Insults and memes—a match made in the snarky heavens. Welcome, fellow aficionados of wit and sarcasm, to a collection of 37 funny insults and savage memes that cut right to the core. Because let's face it, in a world filled with platitudes and pleasantries, there's something oddly satisfying about a well-crafted insult or a brutally honest ...When the jokes turn into insults for short people, funny roasts for short people always balance on a thin line of becoming insulting. Know the difference between a roast and an insult before you share one publicly. ADVERTISEMENT. Sensitive topics. If a person is clearly insecure because of their height, you might wish to abstain from trying …Rap Battle Roasts Humor. These raps are childish, and are for children. Some of them are pretty mean and rude and cruel. I made them when I was an uneducated teenager. That being said, some of these make me laugh, so have fun. - The Poopoo man, circa 2024 #advice #comedy #dank #funny #hilarious #humor #jokes #memes #rap #rapbattle …r/VALORANT. VALORANT™ is a free to play 5v5, character-based tactical shooter by Riot Games. MembersOnline. •. [deleted] ADMIN MOD. Best 'insult' I've ever heard of. Discussion. So the Jett heard me speak and instantly 'insulted' me with "I bet you have a mortgage" - I mean.. yes I do but what in the actual fuck. 😂.Dec 12, 2016 ... ... INSULT EACH OTHER in the Playground Insults game on Scott Mills' radio show on BBC Radio 1. Who will win when two Hollywood superstars rip ...106.4M views. Discover videos related to Roasts That Hurt on TikTok. See more videos about Funniest Roasts Ever, Roast Battle, Best Roasts, Insults That Actually Hurt, Roast in Comments, Roasts to Shut People Up. Little hurt. Cant lie #fyp #funny #wife #roasted #foryoupage #feelings #hurtmyfeelings.#redbuttons #redbuttonsnevergotadinner #deanmartinroast Red Buttons discusses the origin of his routine: Never Got a Dinner on the late show with Tom Snyder ...This "compliment" has many nauseating variations and is often used as a subtle form of racism, sexism, or other problematic biases, says Irina Baechle, licensed social worker, a relationship ...Comedian and Saturday Night Live's Colin Jost headlined the 2024 White House Correspondents' dinner in Washington D.C. Jost cracked jokes about former President Trump, the upcoming election and ...You're so short that when you sit on the curb your feet are way off the ground. You're so short that when you sneeze, your forehead smacks into the floor. You're so short that you smoked weed for an hour and still couldn't get high. You're so short that you run circuits around the toilet seat for exercise.Come on! No one should get an award for just showing up! 6. “Check your lipstick before you come for me.”. - Naomi Smalls, Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Ru Paul’s Drag Race is a treasure chest filled with the best …"If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny," he once said of his style, rejecting the idea that he was an insult comic. ... from his frequent visits to see good friend Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show to Dean Martin's Celebrity Roasts to his countless stand-up gigs and his famous story about using Frank Sinatra to ...The sight of a bad haircut is capable of evoking laughter even without saying a word. If you have a friend with a bad haircut and he is the boring type, roast him by saying this: Luke’s good sense of humor is in his bad haircut. Look, he is making everyone laugh without uttering a word.Casse meaning "break", and couilles meaning "balls", you can guess that this is not the nicest thing to call someone. 17. Ta Gueule - Shut up. " Ta Gueule " translates to "your face", and is a very impolite way of saying what is wrong with your face. A very popular insult in the daily French lexicon. 18.19. The Highlighter. If you teach, and one of your students is notorious for outrageous hair color dyes, this roast is your weapon. Out of the blue, request for a highlighter. Then look the guy with dyed hair straight in the eye and say: Doug, please, your outrageously pink head. A highlighter, please.115 Funny Insults to Bring Laughter Not Tears. Last Updated: July 4, 2023. Discover our hand-picked collection of light-hearted and clever insults to bring laughter and playful banter among friends and family. These witty insults are perfect for friendly roasting sessions, icebreakers or a tool to difuse tension in a social situation.

Even Dogs Are Afraid of You. Another iconic roast line that'll cause a sting is, "Even dogs are afraid of you.". This is another interesting way to roast someone in dreads. Saying that even a dog is scared of them will cause some laughter. It's a funny way to say they have a scary appearance. Here are some examples:. Ap bio practice mcq questions

Insults to roast people have evolved far beyond Shakespearean swear words and "Yo Mama" jokes, and they're worth keeping around just in case you need …There are two different ways to react to insults: you can either come up with a good comeback to an insult or you can choose to ignore the insult altogether. However, thinking of a comeback could be more helpful to both parties, because then they can get to the root of the real problem. Using humor is also an effective response to insults ...Fat insults can be funny, but you have to be careful, insult the wrong person and you may have more on your hands than you can handle. Best Fat Roasts People mistake you for a planet because of the gravitational pull you have on their food.If you're having a really bad day, you might need two hours of vulgar insults to lift your spirits. Enter: roast lines. Roasting jokes began over a century ago ...Casse meaning “break”, and couilles meaning “balls”, you can guess that this is not the nicest thing to call someone. 17. Ta Gueule – Shut up. “ Ta Gueule ” translates to “your face”, and is a very impolite way of saying what is wrong with your face. A very popular insult in the daily French lexicon. 18.Ang Payat Mo (You're So Skinny) Go Eat Some Food. Another thing to say to make fun of someone from Tagalog is, "Ang payat mo (You're so skinny) Go eat some food.". This is another fantastic way to insult them with their language and shut them down during an insult battle.20 votes, 10 comments. 26K subscribers in the insults community. Insults. Plain and simple, you cum gargling fuckwit.“I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I won’t do it as well as nature did.” — AnonCaptain002. 6. “Somewhere out there, there’s a tree whose single purpose on earth is to replace the oxygen you waste. Go find it and apologize.” — Alcho_Duck 7. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you ...Here are 20 hilarious insults for someone with curly hair. There are various ways to roast someone with curly hair. You can tease them with one-liners like, "You remind me of a messed up farmland," "How do you cope with looking like a wild cat?" and "You have more curls than respect.". You have more curls than respect.Your teeth are perfect for the scene. Troll them with some paranormal movie role. Another impressive way to roast someone with bad teeth is by using this line of statement. You will be able to put smiles on the faces of people around you and the person you're roasting by employing this line.r/VALORANT. VALORANT™ is a free to play 5v5, character-based tactical shooter by Riot Games. MembersOnline. •. [deleted] ADMIN MOD. Best 'insult' I've ever heard of. Discussion. So the Jett heard me speak and instantly 'insulted' me with "I bet you have a mortgage" - I mean.. yes I do but what in the actual fuck. 😂.Of course you do. That's why we've collected the best insults the internet (and history) have to offer. Some are actually pretty funny, so feel free to unleash them on friends or family the next time you guys get into it. We trust you'll use them in good faith and in good fun.25 Best Fat People Jokes: You're so fat; if you go outside now, you'd be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines. "Never Make fun of a fat person; they already have enough on their plates.". "He's so fat; if he went camping with us, the bears would be too occupied hiding their food so we'd be safe.".12) "Give me back the remote now. Before I sit on you". via Giphy. Watching television with your siblings, more often than not, equates to bickering, leading to a war of words, leading to a smack. To the face. Which results in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you. Nobody wins in this battle.16. Your hair is like the night sky, except without the stars. 17. I asked your hair for fashion advice, and it said, 'Always bet on black.'. 18. Your hair is so dark, it's like you stole all the shadows. 19. Your hair is so dark it's like your head is auditioning for a role in a black hole. 20.26. One of Reddit's funnier and more entertaining subreddits is the /r/roastme subreddit. People take a photo of themselves holding a sign that typically says "Roast me" or "/r/RoastMe" inviting other Reddit users and members of the subreddit to fire their best shot at them. A lot of the time it is just funny and light-hearted jokes and insults ... 6. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”. 7. Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”. Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”. .

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